Is this real life... not literly... I have a headache... and I just watched a documentary on a parking lot

I tossed and I turned trying to find some peace! Struggling to think about a girl who does not exist! My head is pounding, I think people think to much into things... It was right then when I was interrupted by my cat meowing, he got stuck in the basement again and I had to go outside and around the corner and open up the vertically positioned door to let her out, as I was coming back to the house I wondered cynically, not negatively connotated to her though if she would ever learn or unlearn her mistake, then I went inside, left the door open a crack, I shouldn't have... our two black cats came running in, well I don't blame them, its cold outside. Now I am sitting down, a few month old puppy, woke up and is looked up at me to see if I am friendly, just then I thought that this monologue, these coexistent worlds, my head and reality might not get read all that much. Here I am in "epiphany" more or less a brain storm, trying to figure "things" out, thinking 30 times faster than I can type... it all comes down to value... do I mean something.... will I mean something. Because I really care, I was taught I was special, we all are. My battery is about to die so I best rap things up, another thing is I like slang, in some sense, I mean. Not perfect English, I like typing the way I talk, with things spelled correctly, as best That I know how. How did that cat get in again?

One last thing... about the girl that does not exist I'm talking about the person I want to be with, my future girlfriend. I mean there is no perfect person, therewith is all spelled out for you. turns out were all crazy, we are all out to lunch.

Some thoughts

I find it increasingly fascinating to watch groups of people. I have come to possible conclusions and an endless epiphany of thoughts about how selfish we are; how selfish I am...

The egocentric dynamics

It is amazing to see life within a group of people. When the anchors holding the threads of selfishness lose their grip, we see a collapse in the system’s outward branches, its fault? It was simply based on wants, needs and desires. Those who give build an infrastructure of love, those who give ultimately win, because they trade something less for something more.

If God is the vine, and we are the branches, then its okay to always take and never give back, I was told by someone really smart, that all we can give God is our time. I believe we should all root ourselves in his never lacking love and affection.

Maybe we forget that everyone around us are branches, we try to take from what we can see. Not from what we cannot see (what’s in the ground, Gods love). We need to build our foundation on God, not on people. This is why so many “perfectly good” relationships don’t work out. Why can’t we get closer to him? What’s wrong with us?

Let’s get closer to the Lord, so that our emotions are in the right place where we can help eachother,

so we can have a good time
and talk about things important.

I really love you guys

-Jack

Nashville Tennessee

Here is some to listen to while you read... if you like.

I finally just did it. Taking Nike's advice I threw my clothes into a bag, filled my car up with gas and headed out to Nashville Tennessee all by myself, thats after taking off of work and school a month in advance of course. :)

It really was not that easy to just go. Being there was a triumph in itself.

Here is a video of me getting my face signed by a beautiful model... I had a blast! ^_^

What was so cool about the tournament, was that, it wasn't just a tournament. Every hour or so they would have a pro talk about different types of roles and strategies to use on different game types and maps. The people who were working were very helpful and everything they did seemed well thought out and worked out very smoothly.

This was the first MLG (Major League Gaming) amateur tournament, which means that "pro" players were not able to compete, however, many of them were there. Justin, aka Pistola and a few other pros acted as "scouts". If you did well in the FFA (Free For All) they would give you a sticker, that would allow you to have your game play evaluated. I received a B from Chris Pucket. He is the Ryan Seacrest of the MLG events.

I didn't expect to be competing in the 4v4 event, since my original team wasn't able to make it. Luckily though the guys from "Extreme Gaming" (egworld.net) met me there, and allowed me to be on there "secondary" team. I did my best, but since it was kind of thrown together, we didnt get cloase to winning, I beat about half the players who competed in the 4v4.

(400th place out of 800 people.)

One of the primary ways of getting ready for a tournament... or maybe getting good enough to get a 50, is to practice in the MLG playlists on xbl. Thats my first tip ;)

-Jack